Dear Mom

Dear Mom,

I miss you. What I would not give to see you, hear your laugh. Watch a Yankees game or WWE and all the other wrestling shows. Remember when you were upset when they changed from WWF to WWE? I miss the board games and card games--- how we would play it a few times by the book and then make up our own rules of the game. You cheering NASCAR. I miss your laughter, your matter of fact ways. I miss your unconditional love most of all. No matter what I did and how I treated you, you still loved me. You loved me, for exactly who I am, you weren't looking for a phony or a person you wanted me to be- you were looking for me and you wanted to love me.

I wish you were here so I can tell you how sorry I am about all the pain I caused you. All the times I didn't call. All the times I disrespected you. All the times I did nothing. All the times I never came to visit. All the flowers I didn't buy. The cards I didn't send. The meals I didn't share with you. All the times I treated you as replaceable. I am sitting here crying this Mother's Day thinking about all the pain you must have felt with my nonchalant attitudes and behavior. I look at my daughter today and would die inside if she ever treated me the way I treated you. You never asked "Why haven't you called?" "Where have you been?" "Why did you do that?" -- you never asked for gifts, you never asked for time, Yet when my selfish soul would call you or visit or bring you a gift ---- you treated me like I was priceless and my gifts were the best things you had ever laid eyes on. It's so sad that today I sit here missing you, wanting to hug you, make you dinner, spend time with you, love on you, play board games, watch fake wrestling and cheer on NASCAR, talk about the Yankees-- and call you, talk to you every day. Every day. Every. Day.

Oh how I took you for granted you beautiful woman. You beautiful soul. The soul I didn't see. How I took for granted that you would always be here. And now you're gone. You've been gone for years, yet everyday I think of you. What I would not give to call and ask your advice-- I never did that. Or what you thought of a situation- I never did that either. Or just to hear your voice.

I know you are with Jesus. I know He is your Saviour. I know you are dancing with Him right now and I will see you again. I just wish you were here now. I am blubbering everywhere and my face needs to be wiped and my nose blown. I can tell you that, because you're my Mom.

Thank you Mom for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for loving me when I was not so lovable and I didn't love. I love you so much. You are not replaceable. Nothing fills the empty spot in my soul that needs to be filled by you.

I could keep typing. But I must stop - for now.


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Dear Person reading this;

Please do not take your Mom for granted. Or maybe you did not have a Mom or someone else raised you or whatever the situation. Whomever played that role of Mom in your life-- please, don't waste time -- don't think they are here forever. They are not. Love on them with everything you have.